| Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter | Eskimo Pi |
| 2000 pounds of Chinese soup | Won ton |
| 1 millionth mouthwash | 1 microscope |
| Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier | Mach Turtle |
| 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling | 1 lite year |
| 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone | 1 Rod Sterling |
| Half of a large intestine | 1 semicolon |
| 1000 aches | 1 megahurts |
| Weight an evangelist carries with God | 1 billigram |
| Basic unit of laryngitis | 1 hoarse power |
| Shortest distance between two jokes | A straight line |
| Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement | bananosecond |
| 10 cards | 1 decacards |
| 1 kilogram of falling figs | 1 Fig Newton |
| 1000 grams of wet socks | 1 literhosen |
| 1 million microphones | 1 megaphone |
| 1 million bicycles | 2 megacycles |
| 500 millinaries | 1 seminary |
| 2000 mockingbirds | 2 kilomockingbirds |
| 1/2 lavatory | 1 demijohn |
| 1 millionth of a fish | 1 microfiche |
| 453.6 graham crackers | 1 pound cake |
| 1 trillion pins | 1 terrapin |
| 1 million billion piccolos | 1 gigolo |
| 100 rations | 1 C-ration |
| 10 millipedes | 1 centipede |
| 3 1/3 tridents | 1 decadent |
| 2 monograms | 1 diagram |
| 8 nickels | 2 paradigms |
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