TCS - Microsoft Christmas
Microsoft Christmas
Author - Unknown
Printed in the December 1999 issue of the I/O Port Newsletter
'Twas the night before Christmas,
when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
except Papa's mouse.
The computer was humming,
the icons were hopping,
As Papa did last-minute
Internet shopping.
The stockings were hung
by the modem with care
In hope that St. Nicholas
would bring new software.
The children were nestled
all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games
danced in their heads.
Dark Forces for Billy,
and Doom II for Dan,
And Carmen SanDiego
for Pamela Ann.
The letters to Santa
were sent out by Mom,
To santaclaus
@toyshop.northpole.com -
Which has now been re-routed
to Washington State;
You see, Santa's workshop
was bought by Bill Gates.
All the elves and reindeer
have had to skedaddle
To flashy new quarters
in suburban Seattle.
After centuries of a life
that was simple and spare,
St. Nicholas is suddenly
a new billionaire,
With a shiny red Porsche
in the place of his sleigh,
And a house on Lake Washington
that's just down the way
From where Bill has his mansion.
The old fellow preens
In black Gucci boots
and red Calvin Klein jeans.
The elves have stock options
and desks with a view,
Where they write computer code
for Johnny and Sue.
No more dolls or tin soldiers
or little toy drums
Will be under the tree,
only compact disk ROMS
With the Microsoft label.
So spin up your drive,
From now on Christmas
runs on Windows 95.
More rapid than eagles
the competitors came,
And Bill whistled, and shouted,
and called them by name.
"Now, ADOBE!
now, LOTUS!
now, INTUIT! too,
Now, APPLE!
and NETSCAPE!
you are all of you through,
It is Microsoft's SANTA
that the kids can't resist,
It's the ultimate software
with a traditional twist -
Recommended by no less
than the jolly old elf,
And on the package,
a picture of Santa himself.
Get 'em young, keep 'em long,
is Microsoft's scheme,
And a merger with Santa
is a marketer's dream.
To the top of the NASDAQ!
to the top of the Dow!
Now dash away! dash away!
dash away - wow!"
And Mama in her 'kerchief
and I in my cap,
Had just settled down
for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn
there arose such a clatter,
The whirr and the hum
of our satellite platter,
As it turned toward
that new Christmas star in the sky,
The SANTALITE owned
by the Microsoft guy.
As I sprang from my bed
and was turning around,
My computer turned on
with a Jingle-Bells sound.
And there on the screen
was a smiling Bill Gates
Next to jolly old Santa,
two arm-in-arm mates.
And I heard them exclaim
in voices so bright,
Have a MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS,
and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!
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Tulsa Computer Society 1/23/99
Don Singleton, President
djs@ionet.net