You had to buy a modem AFTER you intalled said software.

You type in CAPITAL LETTERS, JUST BECAUSE IT LOOKS BETTER.

You think 'Unix' is a complex geometric term.

Multitasking means watching TV while you download.

14.4 is 'fast enuff'

You think FTP is a gynecological syndrome.

You have ever been told to 'Read The FAQ'

You hope to someday understand the mystery of UUcode

You have ever crossposted to more than twenty-five separate news groups

You did it on purpose.

You have ever waited more than twenty minutes for any web page to load.

'Jpeg' is a swearword at your house.

You have ever posted a binary in chunks smaller than 90K

You have ever posted an uncompressed .BMP image to a binary picture group.

'Linux'? Isn't he the kid with the blanket from 'Peanuts'?

You have ever sent five dollars to an address in a "MAKE MONEY FAST!' post.

There are three computers in your house, a vic-20, a Commodore-64 and your programmable Mr. Coffee

A 'Scanner' is something you listen to truck drivers and cops with.

Your nine year old daughter has ever installed software for you.

Yo evur dun posted a crateke of anuther poster's gramur or spelin.

You have ever committed a felony over Usenet.

You have ever ADMITTED to committing a felony over Usenet.

The World Wide Web is scary.

You have ever used the phrase, 'Surfing the Web' or 'Driving on the Information Superhighway'

The 'Fast Lane' on said highway is a 2400 baud modem.

You use the Internet to pick up chicks.

'Kill File' is something you do with a screwdriver

You have ever posted a religous commentary in a binaries group

This list insults you more than it makes you laugh.

But remember, there is salvation, even for the worst of the AOL'ers. You can always dump AOL, and get a REAL internet connection, and hope to God nobody remembers you.

For more information on the Tulsa Computer Society click here