REMEMBERING KITTY ESTES: Friend has one last conversation with teacher who passed away after battle with breast cancer

By Rick Rogers / Of The Press Staff

Lowell Catron, sitting alone in the middle of the auditorium stage, had one final conversation with Kitty Estes.

Across from him was an empty brown folding chair. That chair was for Kitty. It was empty in body, but not in spirit.

Kitty, 46, passed away early Monday morning after a three-year battle with breast cancer. She was a sixth grade teacher at Steadley Elementary School, and is survived by her husband, Ted, and two sons, Marshall and Theo.

Lowell's relationship with Kitty began four years ago when they began teaching at Steadley Elementary School in Carthage.

The two did not become best buddies right away.

Lowell was a physical education teacher and a coach. Kitty was a sixth grade teacher who loved the arts and books.

"I heard about Kitty," Lowell told a large crowd of family, friends, students and staff of the Carthage R-9 District during a special service Wednesday afternoon at the high school auditorium.

"I heard about her wildness. Maybe sometimes being overbearing. Or sometimes getting on your nerves. What I found out later is that she did not have too many good experiences with physical education teachers or coaches.

"But, I tell you what, that relationship started to change -- immediately."

As Lowell and Kitty worked together and got to know each other, a special bond began to form.

Lowell learned that Kitty used to babysit his wife, Valerie, when she was a little girl.

"And guess what," he said. "They played school."

Lowell witnessed the expertise Kitty possessed in the classroom. He saw the enthusiasm and willingness Kitty had to try new ideas to inspire her students to do their best, and make the most of themselves.

"She really cared about each student," he said. "She cared about the people around here. I also saw the love she had for her family."

Three years ago, Lowell and the rest of Kitty's Carthage family received the heartwrenching news that she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Lowell will never forget how Kitty handled the news. Lowell said she handled herself in a time of crisis with grace, with dignity and as a "sister in Christ." She even wrote weekly updates about her condition and put the notes in the mailboxes of the staff at Steadley Elementary.

"Those writings inspired us," he said. "That's what we should have been doing for her, not her for us. But that is what she did. Her optimism to overcome the disease that was overtaking her was truly amazing to each person who saw her."

Later, as Kitty was battling the disease, the staff at Steadley held a bean feed to help the family pay for medical expenses.

After he saw the outpouring of support and love from the community, Lowell realized how many lives Kitty had touched.

"I will never forget that," Lowell said.

Kitty, he added, also introduced him to culture and to what it is to be a great teacher.

"The books she read, the music she liked," Lowell said. "She was a star teacher before she was labeled that. And I introduced her to Whisler's Hamburgers and sports.

"I owe Kitty big time."

Two years ago, Lowell learned that his father, Mike Catron, was stricken with ALS, or Lou Gehrig's disease.

The friendship between Lowell and Kitty would become even stronger. Kitty, who was fighting her own battle, would be there to lend Lowell support in dealing with his father's condition.

"We would have great long talks about that in her classroom after school," Lowell said. "She truly wanted to know about how he felt. My faith tells me, and I believe, that everything happens for a reason.

"I would later find out that her suffering, and my dad's suffering, together would have a reason. This summer Kitty took a turn for the worse and was home all the time in bed and we had many talks. A year ago last August, my dad lost his ability to speak, but he continued to preach. He wrote sermons, and I preached them for him."

Kitty would invite Lowell to her home every Saturday evening so he could practice his father's sermon by reading it aloud to her. Lowell said by doing that, it opened doors for the two of them to discuss "some deep topics."

"She asked me one day, "Why was your dad's talent to preach taken away, and why was my talent to teach taken away?' " Lowell explained. "I don't think I gave her an answer. Being Kitty, the next time I walked in before I could say something she had an answer.

"She said, "You get to learn first-hand from your dad, and I get to touch people who come and visit me, who pray for me, who I can write and who I can call. I still have a ministry.'

"And she did."

The two talked about heaven and what it would be like. They would read verses together. They prayed together, and sometimes she would suggest ideas for his father's sermons.

Lowell said Kitty also talked about dying. She wanted to know about Lowell's grandfather, who passed away earlier that summer. She wanted to hear of how he took his last breath surrounded by family and friends.

Kitty wanted to die peacefully and with grace.

Lowell said, "Kitty, you are the definition of dying with dignity. I know Kitty had a personal relationship with God, and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, her savior. I am confident in that."

Last Sunday, Lowell heard that Kitty was not having a good day. The next day he went over and visited with her, and could see that she was hurting.

But before Lowell could say a few words of comfort or encouragement, Kitty told him, "Yesterday was a bad day. I felt like I lost hope. I felt like I lost my encouragement and all of the sudden I thought of your dad. He does not have any hope. And then, all of the sudden, I felt better."

"And that made me feel better," Lowell said. "I am one to say that I love you first. Kitty, she would never let me do that. I would always have to say, as I walked away, "I love you, too.'"

At that point, Lowell moved away from the podium and took a seat at one of the two folding chairs in the center of the stage.

He wanted the audience to witness how he envisioned his last conversion with Kitty would be, and what they might say to each other.

"Kitty, you look like you have seen the face of God. You look marvelous. (Pause for Kitty to speak) Yes, tell my grandpa that I love him, too. (Pause) I know. I know you are ready to get back to singing the praise of God, but just a second. I want to tell you thank you.

"You have helped me out so much. Kitty, let's pray together one more time. . . (Pause) I love you, too. And I will see you later."